said the letters crudely scribbled on the pink homemade construction paper card, from the hand of a five-year-old, almost finishing the kindergarten year.
Her teacher had given examples on the black board to follow if needed, but her little heart had her own ideas… and so she did just that… follow her heart already at the tender age of five.
The inside cover was half filled with hand drawn red flowers and forest green uneven stems, coloured with Crayola crayons that smelled oh so wonderfully.
She quickly raised one to her little nose so as to get all the aroma that always made her heart smile.
To MOM :
Said the words now well written, not printed, on a homemade card once again as she had really practiced her cursive writing diligently as required by now being in grade 5.
The crudely hand-drawn red Crayola flowers with the forest green uneven stems, had now been replaced by a poem from her own heart as her passion for writing emerged and blossomed year after year.
“Open the door to happiness” it began. The first line of many a handmade card she would find many years later going through her scrapbooks the year following the day her mom had left for Heaven.
It was everything she truly wished for her, but didn’t always know how to tell her over the years.
Said the front cover of a beautiful store bought card filled with beautiful store stamped flowers. The homemade cards were being slowly replaced by bought ones found in the $1 section( what she could afford in those days) but none the less precious to her as she tried finding the one that could portray what her high-school heart wanted to say.
As the teenage years rolled by, Mother’s Day became a bit more complicated in her heart.
There were many things that brought her Joy with her mom, like the smell and taste of her homemade garden fresh bean soup with ham, jars of canned peaches( not too much sugar though said mom) the local radio station, CHSM crooning softly through the house daily, country gospel, tips for teens, Back to the Bible broadcast, Trading post and so much more… setting the tone in our home.
Yet their hearts didn’t always beat in sync, creating times of unhappiness for them both. Nonetheless she continued to linger in the card aisle yearly on Mother’s Day, her heart trying to find the one with the right words amidst her conflict in her heart.
She loved her mom. There was no doubt. But life had taken on an unwelcomed sandpaper edge at times.
To MOM :
Said the annual hand-picked store cards…so the years continued, and now she had four daughters of her own and Mother’s Day had taken on a whole new meaning for her.
The view from the other side.
The hand printed cards with the fresh pungent smell of the Crayola crayons were now hers to open from her little girlies, continuing the never ending cycle of mother /daughter, that had gone on for many a generation now going back to HER mom.
Said the beautifully handwritten entry, her one of many journal entries she made the year before she left for Heaven.
“Another Mother’s Day Without You! Oh how I miss you! You would be 96 years young now! I so look forward to seeing you again someday in our Eternal home where we will never have to say good-bye again!”
She gently turned the pages of one of the beautifully gifted journals given to her mom over the years by her and others whom she held so dear to her heart.
A salty tear escaped slowly down her cheek as she read and re-read the words again about how her mom missed her mom, now a year after she had left for her Eternal home.
Flipping through the pages of a scrapbook found in the small dining room cabinet her heart welled up as she came across a card from herself in the handwriting years at the age of 10…
“Open the door to happiness” it began.
She couldn’t hold back the tears any longer as she held the Scrapbook and journal tight to her chest, just hoping to feel her mom close again through the pages.
The hope of her mom celebrating Mother’s Day in Heaven with her own Mom after missing her so much after all these years made her heart Happy in the moment, and her salty tears turned into joy in the moment as she envisioned her mom and HER mother celebrating Mother’s Day all together once again, but this time for all eternity through the Ages!
Her mom’s “door to happiness” had been truly opened once and for all time.
The last “To MOM” had been written in the form of a eulogy at her homegoing celebration the year before… Really saying everything she had always wanted to say over the years… And she had felt she had said it well.
Her heart knew it had really been the ultimate Mother’s Day card she had sometimes struggled to write over the years. Now all felt… Now all said.
So much time had passed. 50 years since the first of many Mother’s Day cards we’re given, and no matter what struggles her heart had felt in the Sandpaper years, she wished in this moment she could give her mother a Mother’s Day card just one more time….
Coloured with a wonderfully smelling red Crayola crayon… with forest green uneven stems…
And begin again…