When I was 5
I wanted to be 10.
when I was 10
I wanted to be 15.
and when I was 15… well you get the picture.
So what was the drive, fascination, yearning to exist in another time? Perhaps excitement.,.. perhaps ideas of what it would be like… more freedom..or perhaps answers… answers to questions my heart was needing in different seasons in my life.
Moving through the years of my life the answers to life’s questions seemed to always be just out of reach.
Struggling with my weight all my life burned the questions of why.. why does size matter to those around me? My peers and to those who matter the most to me?
Why did the people I leaned on so heavily as a small child and years later carry such a heavy load themselves that they could not help me carry mine… or were they even meant to?
Why did my grandma, my best friend whom I loved so dearly have to say goodbye too soon?
Why did my dad have to have his life cut down too early in his life with a merciless, massive, debilitating stroke only to suffer 10 years and still counting?
Why did the effects of mental illness seem to ripple so deep and wide all around me as a pebble dropped in a calm lake, leaving all relationships hard and sometimes crippling.
The “Whys” outweighed the “Answers” to these and so many more questions.
As the years tumbled by the answers to those “Whys” I thought could possibly be answered if I could but travel to a time that would contain all those longed for answers.
The reality was the answers lie within the ultimate time traveler… my God your God.
He is the Alpha and Omega the beginning and the end as he tells us in his Word, so he has already been where my years have not taken me yet. He’s already there.. waiting for me… with answers I may not totally understand.
Although I have already traveled through those years I thought would have the answers, I still have more “Whys” than “Answers”.
And yet the answers I have gotten to some of my questions we’re not what I expected. the answers were to be found in a personal relationship with a God who wants one with each one of us. They are in his written Word to us and in his personal revelation to each of us.
His answers are very clear.
It is our hearts, our ears.. beliefs that are the problem. We may have had life that seems to speak louder than his soft gentle answers.
Answers that have come in the form of a yes, a no, a maybe, or an instruction to simply stand on his Word.
Our God is the ultimate time traveler. He has seen and still sees it all. My life, your life in every moment of time from here into eternity, forever. He knows the book of your life, the chapters that were and the chapters to come. He has ordained our steps yet has given us a choice whether we will follow them or not. He knows what choices we will make, how life will happen in this fallen world influenced by the ultimate enemy, accidents, beliefs, choices and so much more deciding the chapters of our lives.
The answers I needed for my many questions through the years were always to be found in Him.
I may not have heard his answers to me due to life filters yet standing on the Promises that he will never leave me or forsake me in all my questions.. the God of the universe by my side… walking through every valley and victory together arm-in-arm behind me and in front of me… my name tattooed in the palm of his hand…are all the answers that can walk me through this time in my life…
how incredibly personal.
Who better to trust regardless of all my “Whys”being answered or not.
My time travel has been but a single grain of sand compare to the infinite Shores of time He created and has traveled.
One day.. in another time, in another land, when I will have traveled through time… the answers to all my “Whys” will be made more than clear.
There will be no more body image insecurities, sickness, and no more death and so much more, but in the time I have been put on this earth to travel now, I will choose to be content that he has ALL the answers to my “whys” in his time.
He is the ultimate time traveler and I am his daughter…how incredible♥️