The last blast of the winter cold gave way to warmer winds and the tiniest ever, green leaves pushed happily from their tiny buds. The fields transformed into carpets of bright green lush… the birds who found their way back after the winter, sang a happy song to each other from tree top to tree top… and to me I had decided.
The earth smelled so fresh as the dirt and gravel roads were washed with the first of many rains to come in the season. Spring had come again… all seemed new again.
I was ten. I was happy.
The new meant rides on Grandpa’s red truck in the back box sitting on the pokey bales of straw that pinched my bare little legs just enough to keep me aware of my surroundings.
The new meant the sweet smell of the freshly mowed grass at our small home on Hanover St., my dad pushing the older model mower still in his blue work clothes, his name marked clearly on an oval patch on his right pocket.
The new meant the overload of the large bush of lilacs blanketing the yard with a wonderful aroma on the same Hanover St.
The new meant the neighborhood kids gathered on the corner empty lot for some stickball, tag, and teaching each other to ride.. sometimes, or most of the time… second hand banana seat bikes…well past dark as the evenings grew longer.
The new meant my mom’s large plot of black dirt in the backyard still on Hanover St., would soon be sprouting rows upon rows of new colors representing our food for the year in mom’s pantry, and years later the new meant weekly trips to the local farmers’ market as a new season in life left her large garden behind.
Their Spring had changed and had become new.
When I was growing up the new meant Spring jackets came out of the storage closet, no longer big, bulky heavy coats… a freedom of sorts when playing outside was experienced.
The new meant Grandma’s farmhouse windows were opened wide to let the fresh Spring air fill every corner of the house.
And yet the new wasn’t always a time of excitement and joy. The new needed some practical steps. The piles of soft white winter snow had melted revealing all that needed to be cleaned. Stones on the grass where they didn’t belong, garbage that had found its home on the yards as opposed to the garbage cans. And pets and their daily “duties” left behind.
Not all had to be dealt with all at once, yet this was all something that was expected in one shape or form in all its similarities from Spring to Spring.. new to new.
Then one year..Spring brought a very different new.
A new that wouldn’t repeat itself the same way ever again year after year.
My mom died.
A very different new. One that I have never experienced before…because we only have one mom.
She died in early April just as some of the new of Spring was aching to come alive.. and so it did like yearly clockwork.
Some things just carry on whether our hearts are ready for it or not. Life really does go on in some shape or form without our permission.
Fast forward decades later…the green leaves still bright, fresh and new to the landscape and first time freshly mowed grass of the season awakened the senses. My little grandchildren peddled their bikes in there less bulky Spring jackets through the mud puddles.
My daughter’s gardens started in their homes on their window sills, grew wonderfully. My windows were open for the first time in the season to invite wholeheartedly the Spring air with no bugs.
Some of the old new…some familiarity…now decades later.
There will be times in everyone’s life the old new will become simply the new . The old new will blow in the wind surrounding your new. It will smack of some familiarity but the new will be center stage. And it may seem like forever for a very long time…or forever… always.
Each Spring will bring some familiarity but the journey through each year will take on a brand new… new.
Just as the new fresh green leaves push happily out of the buds never to inhabitat that space again, so too will the new I have experienced never be able to go back… only forward.
So what will you.. I.. do with the new Spring in our lives that will never again look the same from year to year?
Some things familiar will undoubtedly blow in the wind but the new Spring has forever changed.
Will I get stuck in the why?
Or will I be able to move into the what can I do with it from here?
The first new Spring is still very fresh and I’m still sailing through the emotions and memories of it. Yet in the midst of it all…I smell the fresh grass…I see the buds bloom…I hear the birds sing their sweet song…I can still enjoy and experience some of the old new.
So when Spring comes again in this new and a year of seasons has passed and nothing may look the same from the smells of the fresh air, the birds singing, the buds blooming, the freshly cut grass.. etc. from year to year… I will hope to keep choosing the what over the why..It will be my new Spring for years to come…
The new leaves of choosing every Spring to ask the what and not the why. And sometimes the practical steps are needed to clean out the things the Winter season has left behind.
All part of the healing journey when I choose to sit on the bench daily with my God in order to navigate the what as opposed to the why…in every season and in every year of the new Spring.
We all have or will have different life altering moments that will last our lifetimes that will be the new Spring in our lives.
So the question is…
What will I do with the new?…
What will YOU do with your new?
Continue to embrace your new…enjoy the familiar old new surrounding it and know that your new Spring from year to year can bring the sweet aroma of healing and memories of Spring times past.
And just for today…I will be content in knowing she can be found…
in the ultimate Garden in HER new Spring ♥️