Barely tall enough, my little chin gently touched the top of the brown shiny dresser built new in the sixties, my eyes gazed intently into the marbled mirror, the copper lines fading across from end to end telling of its age.
A partial wisp of medium brown hair cut into a pixie as my dad always preferred so as not to hide my eyes, came into view. Half a brown eye sitting on top of a chubby dimpled cheek gazed at the whitewashed tile ceiling that came into view bordered by the view of a matching dresser.
I was always trying to find new things in the reflection in my young world.
My reflection in the mirror was tainted by a number of things. The sight line because of my young self… the cracks in the mirror…it all did not give me a true reflection of the True me and spoke to my heart in a harsh tone over the coming years.
As I grew older, my teen years were filled with anxiety. Looking into a mirror my made my heart ache as I saw what I thought I saw in the reflection. My inner voice teamed with some outer voices and had left my view of my reflection tainted….the sightlines very inaccurate.
My efforts to perfect what I saw spoke to my identity or what I thought was my identity. My struggles with my weight since I was a toddler clouded my mind and heart at many a season in my life.
What I saw in the mirror physically, spoke to my soul.
I never suffered from an eating disorder as such with a name attatched….yet I suffered.
My heart breaks for those who look in the mirror and “see”what they think they see.
I understand too well.
Bulimia and anorexia are labeled eating disorders but it goes way deeper than that. All can be summed up as one identity disorder… the binge drinking, addictions, drugs, even relationship disorders are all symptoms of a root..
from a tainted “mirror”.
Who are we really?
My makeup was used to hide me instead of enhance the me I was always created to be. I would go from leaning in really close to find every flaw to avoiding the mirror all together some days… yet the addiction of “fixing me” drew me back time and time again to the “Talking Mirror”…and it was deafening…
And sometimes silent… both were incredibly hard.
As I continued my visits on my bench with my God over the years through my journals and reading His letters to me, I realized some things that began to wash over my heart like a tide from the ocean. The mirror that would ultimately speak Truth to my heart was the Living Word. When I looked into it, no matter what angle, I saw a me that had been created in His image… the Creator of the universe had created me in His image…
how utterly incredible. I was not only a Child of the Living God…
I was deemed Royalty… a daughter of THE King… who when I looked into His mirror… I was deemed MORE than good enough.
Every day I had to choose to pick up the right mirror ..His Word..and ultimately believe what the reflection said.
The Journey of heartache in front of the mirror is being replaced season by season as a true reflection in a mirror held up but my God, yet daily I need to remind myself of the Truth, so I do not gaze into the mirror from an angle of false identity.
Any tainted mirror will always bring nothing but heartache.
Today… gaze into the mirror that tells you your True reflection..
Child of THE King..
This reflection will transform your life from the inside out..
If you only let it.